In recent years, coercive control has gained recognition as a pervasive and insidious form of abuse. It is also a criminal offense.
Unlike physical violence, which leaves visible marks, coercive control often operates under the radar, making it more challenging to identify and address.
As a therapist, understanding coercive control is crucial not only for supporting those affected but also for educating the broader community about its dynamics and dangers. For me, having a knowledge of this kind of abuse means I can spot it second hand and can signpost my clients to help and support them.
Coercive control can affect anyone, it doesn't just happen when you're in a romantic relationship, it can be family or friends who are the abusers, so understanding the signs is super important.
What is Coercive Control?
Coercive control refers to a pattern of behaviors used by an abuser to dominate and manipulate another person, typically within an intimate or familial relationship. These behaviors can include isolation, gaslighting, financial control, and emotional abuse, among others. The aim is to erode the victim’s autonomy, self-esteem, and freedom, effectively making them dependent on the abuser.
Unlike more overt forms of abuse, coercive control is subtle and often goes unnoticed, even by the victim. It can manifest as constant criticism, monitoring, and manipulation, which collectively create a sense of fear and entrapment. The impact on the victim’s mental health can be profound, leading to anxiety, depression, and a sense of hopelessness. People may feel trapped in their situation with no hope of getting out or away from their abuser.
Recognizing Coercive Control: A Therapist’s Perspective
As therapists, it is essential to recognize the signs of coercive control. These signs may not always be immediately apparent, particularly if a client is reluctant or unable to articulate what they are experiencing. Here are some indicators that may suggest coercive control:
1. Isolation from Support Systems: The abuser may prevent the victim from seeing friends and family, or restrict their access to external support networks. This isolation makes the victim more dependent on the abuser.
2. Monitoring and Surveillance: The abuser might constantly check the victim's phone, emails, or social media, or track their movements. This behavior creates an environment of fear and control.
3. Gaslighting: The abuser manipulates the victim into doubting their own perceptions, memories, and sanity. Over time, this can erode the victim’s sense of reality and self-confidence.
4. Financial Control: The abuser might restrict the victim’s access to money, control how they spend it, or deny them the means to become financially independent. This can trap the victim in the relationship, as they feel they cannot leave without financial support.
5. Emotional Manipulation: The abuser uses guilt, fear, and shame to manipulate the victim's emotions. They might alternate between affection and cruelty, creating an unpredictable and emotionally volatile environment.
How Therapists Can Help-
When working with clients who may be experiencing coercive control, it is important to create a safe and supportive environment where they feel heard and validated. Here are some strategies therapists can use:
1. Build Trust and Safety: Establishing a non-judgmental space is crucial. Many victims of coercive control feel shame or guilt about their situation, so it is important to provide unconditional support.
2. Educate the Client: Help the client understand what coercive control is and that it is a form of abuse. Education can empower them to recognize their situation and consider their options.
3. Empowerment: Focus on rebuilding the client’s sense of self-worth and autonomy. This might involve helping them to reconnect with their support networks, exploring financial independence, or developing a safety plan if they decide to leave the relationship.
4. Collaboration with Other Professionals: Therapists should be prepared to collaborate with other professionals, such as social workers or legal advisors, who can provide additional support and resources.
5. Ongoing Support: Recovery from coercive control is a long-term process. Continued therapy can help clients navigate the emotional aftermath and build a new life free from abuse.
Resources and Charities in the UK
In the UK, several organizations provide support and resources for individuals experiencing coercive control. These charities offer a range of services, including helplines, legal advice, and emergency accommodation.
- Refuge: A leading charity providing specialist support for women and children experiencing domestic violence and coercive control. Their 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline is 0808 2000 247.
- Women's Aid: A federation of over 180 organizations that provide support to women and children experiencing abuse. They offer a range of resources, including online forums and information on local support services.
- SafeLives A UK-wide charity dedicated to ending domestic abuse. They provide research, training, and support services aimed at identifying and supporting those at risk.
- Surviving Economic Abuse (SEA): Focused on economic abuse, SEA provides resources and support for those whose financial independence is being controlled by their abuser.
- The ManKind Initiative: Offering support for male victims of domestic abuse, including coercive control, through a confidential helpline and information on local services.
- National Centre for Domestic Violence (NCDV): Provides free legal assistance to obtain injunctions, such as non-molestation orders, to protect victims of domestic abuse.
Suzy Lamplugh Trust has lots of resources and tools to understand if you are being stalked
Links to national stalking helpline
Coercive control is a complex and harmful form of abuse that can have devastating effects on its victims. As therapists, we have a responsibility to understand this issue deeply, so we can offer the best possible support to those affected. By raising awareness and providing resources, we can help our clients break free from these destructive relationships and reclaim their lives.
If you or someone you know is experiencing coercive control, remember that help is available. Reaching out to a therapist or one of the organizations mentioned above can be the first step toward regaining control and building a safer future.
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